My daughter who was born sleeping, and my brothers story of his passing

In around the beginning of March of 2009 I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. (I was pregnant once before but I lost that child at about 9 weeks in August of 2008). My daughters father, the guy who I was with was not a very good guy. I was already planning to leave him. A little after I found out and told him and my parents I left him and couldn't be happier with my decision. I went to the ER a couple times with some pain but everything was fine besides I had gotten a bladder infection and a yeast infection all at once. In April I was about 9 weeks when I had met the love of my life and whom I am now engaged to. His name is Andy, he is 26, he has a daughter with a previous relationship and he is my other half. After he comes home from Iraq we plan on getting married. He will leave next your (2011) sometime. Everything was great if you couldn't tell. But on October 17th 2009 my world and my family's world turned into hell. I made my mom bring me to Elk River so we could go get some stuff done and at this time Andy was at Camp Ripley so that's why I had my mom drive me. I dint want too go alone because I was 37 weeks already. On our way home we hit a traffic jam. As we got closer we noticed there was a car accident. We noticed there was a white mustang. (to clarify some stuff quick, my brother was having problems with his girlfriend, she was married and had two kids but was with my brother and said she going to get a divorce then she found out she was pregnant with my bothers baby. they had been fighting about the baby because she wanted to abort the baby. Well all in all my brother was very depressed and went down hill. He would never commit suicide, but he did start to drink. But back to the story....) My mom started to freak out and tried calling my brother and neighbors a million times. No one answered. We pulled over and me and my mom got out and started running to the scene. Once the cops found the insurance card and realized it was my brother he came and told us. I thought that was the hardest day of my life. Watching my mom was so hard and I prayed I would never have to go through loosing a child. After we saw my brother Eric one last time (sadly our last time was in his car, and he had already passed away). By that time my brother had showed up and we had notified everyone. Eric was on his way to see a friend for lunch when he was going south bound on county road 169 and ended up rolling his car going around a corner and rolled into the north bound lane of 169. The cars driver side had smashed on top of him when he rolled and it had put a hole in his head. Cause of death was contusion to the head. He was not speeding, he was not drinking or texting or anything. Next few days where really stressful and I dint know what to do. Eric had just turned 21 in Sep. but he had lived a very good adventuress life. We got through the wake and the funeral. Andy came back in time for everything. I called my doctor right after everything and she you will be fine don't worry about , nothing will happen and so on so forth. A few days later I noticed my daughter wasn't really moving but I put it off. I kept thinking I felt small things here and there so I wasn't to concerned. We all went out to go eat one day and watch the game in memory of my brother and by the end of the day I wanted to go home I knew something was wrong. When we got home I had grabbed my at home fetal heart monitor and searched and searched for her heart beat. I couldn't find it and we started to panic. By this time I knew something was wrong so we raced to the hospital and I had called my mom and she said everything was fine and my uncle who is a doctor said she could just be laying in a way where its hard to find the heart beat. Well when we got to the ER they rushed me up to the OB warred and hooked me up to these machines and one was to listen to the heart beat. The doctor tried so hard to find her heart beat but she couldn't. When the doctor had gotten there she did a ultra sound. There was no movement, no heart beat, no nothing. By this time My dad and my other brother where there with me and Andy and there was about 3 nurses in there with us when we found out. They asked since I was already having contractions and I was far enough along if I just wanted to be induced. I said yes. They got me into my room and started everything. The rest of that day and night was hard. I dint know what to do or think. By this time word had gotten around and my phone was blowing up. My mom and my dad and my moms boyfriend Paul, My sis in law, my brother and Andy where all there with me my sister in law and brother had to leave occasionally because they had kids at home and stuff. The next day I went into full labor. They gave me my epidermal and a little later I was ready. I had my fiance in there, my mom and my cousin Rachel for support. I pushed for about 30 Min's and then I had my baby girl who was born sleeping. She was born Oct. 26th, 2009 at 3:44pm weighing 6pounds 2oz and was 19 1/2". We name her Cadence Erica Gareis after her uncle Eric (my brother). When they put her in my arms its like nothing had happened and it was just me and her in that room and in this world. I was so happy to finally meet my baby who I had bonded with and grew to love and know for the last 9 months of my life. She had black hair, and big feet (like her biological dad did). Well I was pregnant I was talking to her biological father and was asking him if he would sign over right so Andy could adopt her because he was never there and he would still never be there for her and he was not good and I did not want my daughter to grow up with a bad father. Andy wanted to adopt her he was there since 9 weeks and had bonded with her and told everyone he was the dad and he sign her certificate and everything. So through out that whole day I only had a couple people there. The hospital had "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" photography come and do pictures for us. And they turned out amazing and I couldn't thank them enough. For pictures I just wanted me and Andy in there and my mom and dad at the end. She got to stay with us over night. I slept with her in my arms and would not let go. The next day was the day we had to leave. The day I had to let my daughter go. I cried so hard I dint know what to do or think I was basically lost and dead to the world. I remember standing there with Andy and our daughter as we cried in devastation and in agony of having to give her up. We sat there and held each other as we watched the nurse walk away with her. I don't remember the car ride home at all. We got an autopsy done on her and the results would take awhile. In the mean time we had her wake/funeral. Before all that we got to bring her home for a few hours to show her, her room and everything. Then we went to the funeral home and just had some family there. She looked like an angel laying there in the bassinet with the flowers all around her. That was my last time I ever got to see and hold my daughter in my arms. Once everyone left we said our good byes. We had her cremated with her some of her blankets and some of her stuffed animals. We put her ashes in an angel urn. We also had a plaque made out of granite made in memory of her. It has her birth date and her name on it and a quote we had gotten from the funeral home.

"Some people only dream of angels, we held one in our arms"

She will forever be with us and for ever be in our hearts.

Also for her autopsy results she was perfectly healthy. They think it was from stress.

Cadence Erica Gareis Oct. 26th 2009

Eric K. Gareis Sep. 8 1988- Oct. 17th 2009

Thank you for reading our story.

Also I am currently pregnant again with a little girl. They are keeping a close eye on me and the baby because of all the stress. Also with October coming up they are concerned so they may end up inducing me early. So far baby is good but they are watching her growth because she is a little behind. Will keep you updated also.

Love,

Casey Gail

There is more detail to all the story but I figured this is good for now.